The rest is history...
If you'd like to see the original postings, Clifton's reply is here, the replies to it are the limericks preserved for posterity's sake below...
Addendum - Spamdrew posted a week or so later, and we started making
fun of him again with some new limericks.
There was a young coder named 'drew
Whose rantings tagged him a cookoo
He found a cartooney
And he would sue me
But he's too broke to boohoo!
there was a test system named ORBS
that blocked all the spam from Steve Forbes
but when some said enough
they went off in a huff
and their static list can't be absorbed
>There was a young coder named 'drew
>Whose rantings tagged him a cookoo
Try "Whose rantings proclaimed him cookoo"
>He found a cartooney
>And he would sue me
>But he's too broke to boohoo!
"But now he's too broke to boohoo!"
Spammen Sie Nicht
Figures. That's why you're doing limericks and not Haiku.
Septic, no bubbles
left in the year-old can, Drew
chomps on KFC
There once was a creek dweller 'drew.
Whose hobby was threatening to sue.
His filter evasion
Has AOL noticing, too.
Paul Anderson (way too much free time...)
How about this?
A spammer named Brunner we find,
Has internet web sites we've mined.
The RBL works,
He says that we're jerks,
Yet we have our jobs... we don't mind.
Spamdrew "Gee!" Brunner's my name.
My lawyer says "This is no game!"
I will not be clued.
You all will be sued.
All chicken and beer; I'm insane.
You people are making me mad.
When billions are fined I'll be glad.
I need all that money
'Cause KFC's funny
'Bout seeing my undies are plaid.
I don't just sell spamware, you see.
Usenet has addy's; they're free.
We scrape them at night,
Now e-mail's a fright,
When AOL says "You have mail!" (sic)
I really need stuff from Khuri!
There once was a trailer park freak,
Who coded spamware one week,
all filters evaded!
and AOL wants a piece too!
(anybody want to fix that last line for me, I drew a blank)
Paul Anderson again...
How about: His IP just died from our tweek.
Or: Another IP he must seek.
Or: Spewage no more from the Creek.
I told you this wasn't my day.
Yet, you guys are making me play.
For spewage to kill,
Is my greatest thrill.
This humor is turning me gray.
James W.'s co-worker
A spammer from Nazreth PA.
Sent trash to a host in VA.
With nothing to do
Andrew threatened to sue
But the newsgroup just said "Go away!" -Boris the Spider
A spammer named Brunner was heard
Making threats that were plainly absurd
Though he promised to sue
He would not follow through
So it's clear that he's just full of merde
Spamdy Bummer caused such a malarkey,
As he trolled the news.admin hierarchy.
When his threats became worse,
They responded in verse,
With the wit and composure of Saki.
Paul Anderson again... (go to sleep Paul..)
So really you're saying I'm strange.
Don't know what to do on my grange.
You really have hurt me,
I wish to debate thee.
Or minions, their skin should be mange.
This day's been totally screwy,
With rhymings about the spamdrewey.
My head is all full,
And I've nothing to pull,
Must get this stuff gone due to brewery.
You shouldn't have started me there.
I'm losing my mind. It's no fair!
I'm making this up
As I'm trying to -HUP,
But the comedy value is rare.
I'm glad that our usenet is here.
On days like this it is not clear.
Why my friends in nanae
Would make me have to play
Such sordid fool games I must fear.
If you tire of this I will stop.
It's certainly time for this slop.
I just hate the sewage
That's caused by spamdrewage
When these stupid threads I can't crop.
Shame on you, Eresh! You started me all over again. I better get some
sleep and get a new start on a new day. My head is so screwed up with
this stuff I can't think straight.
My Cindy is gonna be pissed
If 'morrow my sanity's missed.
By rhyming too much,
She'll place me in a hutch.
'til speaking with her is not dissed.
You're making this hard to be done.
I thought that my battle was was won.
You, sir, are a dreck,
My head is a wreck.
But your posting did cause me some fun.
To Cybercreek HQ we go,
Where biz is exceedingly slow.
Spamdy can't understand,
Why his access is banned,
Now he's seen begging web-trash for dough.
This Brunner's a wiz -- so he thinks.
(The rest of us know that he stinks.)
He's in so much trouble,
His 'tooneys charge double,
And we're cheering as Cybercreek sinks.
The man had a dream that his "Stealth,"
Would bring unimaginable wealth.
But the 'net called it theft,
Leaving Spamdy bereft,
And with slipping-away mental health.
Andrew, liar and cheat
whose spamware attracted some heat
found a cartoony
and promised us all a lawsuite
Patricia A. Shaffer
A spamware provider named Brunner
Used rhetorical bluster like thunder
He threatened a "suite"
Against Vixie's "elite"
'Cause the RBL halted his plunder.
He dialed attorneys all day
'Cause a big chunk O' Net went away
They laughed in his face
'Till one found the grace
to relieve him of his meager pay.
He's an idiot, a dolt, he's a spammer,
But if there's a person to hammer,
It's his dad, (the poor lad),
So exceedingly sad,
He went out with a trout just to ram 'er!
If his dad had just thought for a while,
NANAEites would have no need for bile.
If he'd been a good father
Then I think that rather
Than spamming, young Andy'd be chyle!
The poor man who chose to beget him,
Was not privy to what would beset him.
If he'd known at the start
That son needed a LART,
Instead of beget, he'd have ate him!
Bill Maloy (again)
Poor spamdy. Life once was so jake.
Above radar, his current mistake.
He's biding his time,
Reading rhyme after rhyme,
And checking his undies for cake.
Dave Lugo (again)
Brunner kept making a racket,
"Pirate my software, Drat it!"
He once threatened Qwest,
A grey-hatted nest,
Now he's in a straitjacket.
Bill Maloy (again)
"EMS has been stolen", he 'fessed,
"Stop serving it, or face arrest!"
Spamdy posted his threat,
With both ears dripping wet,
Since a newsgroup is not root@qwest.
You are truly evil, Dave. I've had a hard time /NOT/ getting back into
the fray, and now you tempt me again. You win, and now you lose.
Our Andy was having a hissy.
It wasn't because he was pissy.
We told him to leave.
He said "Don't aggrieve",
And now he thinks I'm a sissy.
The Andy was making my day.
He mailed me, said "what the heh".
I just couldn't LART it.
The header was pure spit.
My hair is now certainly gray.
Don't start with me, people. This is dangerous territory.
He gave us a wonderful start,
The day we started to LART.
He said "I'm not for it."
He said "That will kill it."
"I wish you would leave me, /depart/"
I'm gonna have to kill you all for this. You'll see.
Our Andy thought he was a grunge.
Made thinking about him our munge.
He trashed us and thought,
"Software must be bought".
He now has a software to lunge.
Let's kill it with every try.
Don't care if he will not say why.
Invade our possessions,
Incur our depictions.
We'll see if you can even buy.
You're evil you son of a bitch.
We'll LART you if you ain't a witch.
Take me away now,
I hate you're obscene cow.
You've finally made rhyming a stretch.
Give me a totally rhymer
I hate the magical diner.
Take this, you're away.
I hate you you'll pay.
Too bad you are just not Brent Spiner!
Told ya to not do this again. You just didn't think it was important.
Bill Maloy again...
Said The Man full of bluster and guile,
"Get me 2E+6, then we'll file."
Spamdy, writing a check,
but post-dated to heck,
said "Here's this. Now just 3 million more!"
And again... (Bill is very creative :)
Spamdy want to play, but was crass.
The sandbox crowd wasn't his class.
He retreated to base,
Where his Network's on pace
To be triply redundant -- my #ss.
Paul Anderson again - the man should consider a job in the entertainment industry <gd&r>
The Spamdy went on a bummer.
Remarks to me he hasn't won her.
"The people just hate me."
"I'll make them forsake me."
"Now I'll just make them succumb her."
Okay, maybe two of them.
Luser was surely an abuser.
He'll always be our poor refuser.
Made errata a game;
Said "You people are lame.".
He now he must find his accuser.
Okay, mebee three. ;-)
Spamdrew is certainly funny.
Thinks usenet his morally honey.
His ass in a bind.
Take this you will find.
Your usenet post just a bit runny.
Dave Lugo again
Spamdrew is such a squealer,
A stuck pig, not an appealer.
He called Seanette names,
Him, with sh*t for brains,
Quite the certified stealer.
Eric Bluddax again
Poor Spamdy's a cretin it's true,
RBL him, he threatens to sue,
But I think that the stink
Of his dink in the rink
Is by far more offensive, don't you?
Bill Maloy again
Laugh heartily, but don't pop a suture,
As we chronicle this mail-system moocher.
For we've not seen the last,
Of a criminal past,
Just the dawn of a criminal future.
Paul Anderson again
He thought that we weren't so clever.
Debating was not his endeavour.
Continued the ruse,
We said we refuse.
His cluelessness will be forever.
At CyberCreak up to his ears
In chicken bones, spamware, and beers,
Spamware Andy's brain fart
Had Created a LART
That has caused him innumerable tears.
"I am going to war, you can bet!
I'll be suiteing the whole internet!"
So he sat down to think
but a brain fart and stink
Was all that he managed to get.
His huge army is charging like tanks.
Andy's point man, and rear guard, and flanks.
His great army of one
has the net on the run.
How we shiver and shake in our ranks!
Bill Maloy again
Poor Spamdie. The mainstream reporters
Remain mum as his State Police loiters.
So he "rallies the troops"
By invading newsgroups
And inventing some ardent supporters.
Paul Anderson again
He pounded us 'til we had tired.
His cops, they were something desired.
Be rid of this dreck,
We're tired of the heck.
Better things to do than be mired.
"Combat's" the name of his game.
Without it he'd haven't a name.
He'll sue us he says,
He wants us to de-res.
Thinks by doing so he just can maim.
The spamster, he must get a life.
Our patience is now lacking rife. (reaching a little, but it rhymes)
He's toyed with the people,
No money, no steeple.
He now has nanae for his strife.
He hates it that we want to watch him.
His life, it is lacking in vim.
Account goes away,
He just will not stray
'Til he thinks that our lives now are grim.
Our Andy will just not give up.
I'm thinking we need a SIG -HUP.
His internet chatter
Is making a clatter.
But nothing he says makes us jump.
Lim'ricks they just must be shared.
I'm sorry you couldn't be spared.
But making some fun,
Know tears will be run,
Our culture is now "I'm not scared".
Paul Anderson again
He had a provider in 'chussets.
He hated that I thought him UCEless.
He started to spew,
Like our troll Spamdrew.
And now his accounting is worthless.
Bill Maloy again
"I'll suite you!", said Spamdy, then *tried*.
So that no one could say he had lied.
But the Judge, piping 'Dew
Out a place just *air* flows through,
Rules "small claims of libel denied!!!"
Dave Lugo one more time
Now Spamdrew, he filed his suite,
But the point, it appears rather moot.
Through slander he claimed,
That he was defamed.
In small claims that gets you the boot.
Paul Anderson in <ahem> opus mode
Yer Honor, it's painfully clear.
He's guilty as you can see here.
In nanae he lied,
My hands, they are tied.
Please listen, this suite is so dear.
BRUNNER!, you're wasting my air.
DISMISSED!, it just isn't fair.
I can't hear your case.
Get out of my FACE!
You're stupid and I just don't care.
Yer Honor, mistakes have been made.
I legally filed, and I paid.
How can you dismiss it?
I just don't care one whit,
Until I prevail for my trade.
MISTAKES!?!? Are you out of your mind?
For slander or libel I find,
Your legal recourse
Is civil, of course.
My COURT cannot hear it, you're blind.
Yer Honor, my court fees you see;
Were paid by me so I could plea.
May I have them back,
Without so much flack?
I'll file somewhere else, you'll agree.
I'll KEEP them, you WASTED my time.
Get out of my Court, you are slime.
I see you once more,
I'll show you the door.
Bailiff, remove all this grime.
I'll suite you again, know this Bruce,
For now I'm just calling a truce.
I'll figure this out,
I'm not such a lout.
It's my brain that sometimes ain't in use.
Bill Maloy again...
Of Spamdy the 'Net had grown fond,
But his nameservers wouldn't respond.
So he packed up his sh#t,
And, not thinking one bit,
Headed south 'cross that very big pond.
Bill Maloy yet again...
Spamdy showed, again, ready to speak.
All of 4 weeks had passed (still no 'Creek).
The Judge, masking derision,
Pronounced his decision:
"I require an additional week."
Paul Anderson Maloy again...
The Brunner-amazing he's not.
He slept before court in a cot.
His arguments few,
And those with a spew,
We've tired of his psychotic plot.